God Made Moms To Teach Their Children...With Age Comes Independence
Children are a blessing from God. The awesomeness of raising them and seeing them grow into men and women of valour and accomplishing whatever dream they may have is an even greater blessing. Independence in the past as always been looked upon as a great achievement, sort of a rite of passage for many. So what has changed? The scripture in Proverbs 22:6 reads "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it". The scripture Genesis 2:24 reads "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.". These two scriptures scream independence to me. They remind me that children are meant to grow up and become independent. So why are so many parents holding on to their children, especially the ones who are considered adults by age? Why are there so many Christian parents with adult age children that are still dependent upon them? Let's do our children a favor and teach them that independence should come with age because mommy and daddy won't always be here but God and His favor will.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children...The True Meaning of the Christmas Tradition
“The Christmas Tradition” by Myles Monroe
From the earliest records of human existence, we have captured our experience in a very powerful medium called tradition. You have heard the terms cultural tradition, oral tradition, and even ethnic traditions. Tradition exists in every culture, every nation, and every generation. A generation is not valid without tradition. In many cases, traditions have been the sole provider of our sense of history and identity. They also give a sense of self-awareness. You really become aware of your identity when you look at what your culture and history were. Also, tradition furnishes us with a sense of perspective that is necessary for a healthy self-concept. In its pure state, tradition is good and necessary. However, people can have negative thoughts towards it.
What is tradition? It comes from the word ‘trade.’ Tradition refers to the trading of a national, personal, or cultural experience that is considered worthy of transferring to the next generation. In other words, tradition is a product of reality and the truth of a person, culture, or nation that is deemed worthy and valuable for preservation. All traditions find their roots in fact, truth, and reality.
If you understand the purpose of tradition, then you would know what a tradition should not be. The goal of tradition is to preserve, protect, and to deliver experience and established truth from one generation to the next. Therefore, tradition is only valid when it delivers the original truth. I would like to suggest that tradition could become the burial ground of truth. The danger of tradition is when it takes the place of the truth that it was supposed to deliver.
One of the biggest traditions on this planet is Christmas. Everyone celebrates something around this time of year. Even nations at war lay down their weapons temporarily. However, the present Christmas tradition is not effective in delivering the message, which it is supposed to convey. What we have done is that we have removed the tradition of Christmas from its original truth. Is Christmas delivering the message that it was supposed to preserve?
Christmas has become confusing because we do not know where faith ends and fantasy begins. Jesus is competing with Santa and the angels with the elves. We mix religion with revelry. Christmas has become a trade. Unfortunately, everything is traded except Jesus. The tradition is not trading the right merchandise. Christmas was intended to be a tradition that contained the truth of trading the good news about the Savior. However, many have embraced the tradition of Christmas without embracing Christ. We need to rediscover the original purpose of Christmas.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~ Delphine
“The Christmas Tradition” by Myles Monroe
From the earliest records of human existence, we have captured our experience in a very powerful medium called tradition. You have heard the terms cultural tradition, oral tradition, and even ethnic traditions. Tradition exists in every culture, every nation, and every generation. A generation is not valid without tradition. In many cases, traditions have been the sole provider of our sense of history and identity. They also give a sense of self-awareness. You really become aware of your identity when you look at what your culture and history were. Also, tradition furnishes us with a sense of perspective that is necessary for a healthy self-concept. In its pure state, tradition is good and necessary. However, people can have negative thoughts towards it.
What is tradition? It comes from the word ‘trade.’ Tradition refers to the trading of a national, personal, or cultural experience that is considered worthy of transferring to the next generation. In other words, tradition is a product of reality and the truth of a person, culture, or nation that is deemed worthy and valuable for preservation. All traditions find their roots in fact, truth, and reality.
If you understand the purpose of tradition, then you would know what a tradition should not be. The goal of tradition is to preserve, protect, and to deliver experience and established truth from one generation to the next. Therefore, tradition is only valid when it delivers the original truth. I would like to suggest that tradition could become the burial ground of truth. The danger of tradition is when it takes the place of the truth that it was supposed to deliver.
One of the biggest traditions on this planet is Christmas. Everyone celebrates something around this time of year. Even nations at war lay down their weapons temporarily. However, the present Christmas tradition is not effective in delivering the message, which it is supposed to convey. What we have done is that we have removed the tradition of Christmas from its original truth. Is Christmas delivering the message that it was supposed to preserve?
Christmas has become confusing because we do not know where faith ends and fantasy begins. Jesus is competing with Santa and the angels with the elves. We mix religion with revelry. Christmas has become a trade. Unfortunately, everything is traded except Jesus. The tradition is not trading the right merchandise. Christmas was intended to be a tradition that contained the truth of trading the good news about the Savior. However, many have embraced the tradition of Christmas without embracing Christ. We need to rediscover the original purpose of Christmas.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~ Delphine
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children…To Be True To Who They Are
We all have the tendency to become who others feel we should be and slowly the real person is pushed to the far back. Let’s teach our children to be true to who they really are and we as parents try to recognize and nurture the person God created them to be. In all ages, we get caught up into fitting into particular groups that all the uniqueness of an individual becomes dormant and then when it does appear everyone is like what’s going on with you. Do Not stifle yourself or your children by forcing them to fit into society’s box because the person you are stifling could very well be what society needs or is missing.
Be blessed and encouraged, it’s your choice.~Delphine
Genesis 1:27 -- So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them
We all have the tendency to become who others feel we should be and slowly the real person is pushed to the far back. Let’s teach our children to be true to who they really are and we as parents try to recognize and nurture the person God created them to be. In all ages, we get caught up into fitting into particular groups that all the uniqueness of an individual becomes dormant and then when it does appear everyone is like what’s going on with you. Do Not stifle yourself or your children by forcing them to fit into society’s box because the person you are stifling could very well be what society needs or is missing.
Be blessed and encouraged, it’s your choice.~Delphine
Genesis 1:27 -- So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them
Friday, December 3, 2010
One For the Kids
Queen Marie Rousseau is intelligent and capable. She is also bossy and selfish. Spoiled from birth by her father and three older brothers (and somewhat less by her mother) and homeschooled until she was in third grade, Queen has no idea how to relate to her fifth-grade classmates. She doesn't seem able to keep her mouth shut and often treats them with scorn. When a new boy, Leroy, appears in class—smelly, ill-dressed, and claiming he is from Africa—Queen is sure he is lying and becomes determined to prove it. Following him, she discovers that he is running errands for a neighbor, an actor who has developed agoraphobia. Queen bullies Leroy into telling her about Cornelius and tries to talk her way into his apartment. Her high-and-mighty attitude doesn't work with the man—he insists that she solve a complicated riddle and act decently before he will speak with her. So begins Queen's slow and bumpy realization that being pleasant will smooth her relationships with others. She eventually gains entrance into Cornelius's apartment and discovers all the memorabilia he has collected over a lifetime of world travel. And she finds a real friend in Leroy. Flake has created a character who is difficult and unlikable but at the same time sympathetic. Everything is wrapped up a little too quickly, but that will not deter readers from rooting for the child to change her attitude and find her place in the world.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Tuesday Tidbits
God Made Moms to Teach Their Children….Self Respect
R-E-S-P-E-C-T is powerful word. Aretha Franklin’s song screamed it on behalf of women back in the day. But the word S-E-L-F R-E-S-P-E-C-T is just as powerful when it comes to being an individual. Many of us lack self-respect which makes it almost impossible for us to respect others. Self-respect is taught/learned, we aren’t born with it. So it’s up to parents to teach the children to respect themselves as well as others when it comes to their speech, their actions, and their dress. Our culture in itself has lost a lot over the years by just trying to fit into the mainstream. Do our children justice by teaching them to represent themselves in ways that scream “ I respect myself/parents enough not to or I respect myself/parents enough to do it”. Teaching our young children to respect their parents is a way of instilling self-respect for the growing years.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it’s a choice. ~ Delphine
Hebrews 13:7 -- Remember those who led you, who spoke the word of God to you; and considering the result of their conduct, imitate their faith.
Matthew 7:12 -- Therefore, however you want people to treat you, so treat them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T is powerful word. Aretha Franklin’s song screamed it on behalf of women back in the day. But the word S-E-L-F R-E-S-P-E-C-T is just as powerful when it comes to being an individual. Many of us lack self-respect which makes it almost impossible for us to respect others. Self-respect is taught/learned, we aren’t born with it. So it’s up to parents to teach the children to respect themselves as well as others when it comes to their speech, their actions, and their dress. Our culture in itself has lost a lot over the years by just trying to fit into the mainstream. Do our children justice by teaching them to represent themselves in ways that scream “ I respect myself/parents enough not to or I respect myself/parents enough to do it”. Teaching our young children to respect their parents is a way of instilling self-respect for the growing years.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it’s a choice. ~ Delphine
Hebrews 13:7 -- Remember those who led you, who spoke the word of God to you; and considering the result of their conduct, imitate their faith.
Matthew 7:12 -- Therefore, however you want people to treat you, so treat them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children...Be Lenders and Not Borrowers.
During the peak of this recession you have heard or seen a lot of people suffering. Many are still losing jobs, many are still going through years of savings just to get by, many are sick with no health insurance and some are still losing homes they have worked so hard to obtain. Now on the flip side, we have also heard pastors giving messages on Christians not experiencing recession and stories of Christians prospering through the recession. A message meant to encourage us to not be fearful of what is taking place around us and to fully trust God to provide our each and every need. But with those messages comes the responsibility of using wisdom in our everyday lives. My immediate family has not had to suffer through these times as many others have and I thank God for it. We’ve actually been blessed to be a blessing in some cases. And we bless God for that as well. But we also have cut back in certain areas, so we aren’t affected or even affected as much. Things we can’t afford, we don’t buy until we can afford them. Things we don’t need, we don’t buy until there is a need. Having a mind like Christ, is to operate as He would. Using wisdom with the knowledge we have of His grace and mercy, will get us all through the recession. That’s why it’s important to teach our children to be prepare their minds to be the lenders and the borrowers. There is no need for any of us to be slaves to debit or consumption. One of God’s promise and desire has always been to provide us our every need.
If you are lead, try reading Deuteronomy 28, to rediscover or discover the blessings of obedience and Genesis Chapters 37 to 45, the story of Joseph.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it’s a choice. ~ Delphine
2 Tim 1:7 -- For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.
Phil 4:19 -- “And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”
During the peak of this recession you have heard or seen a lot of people suffering. Many are still losing jobs, many are still going through years of savings just to get by, many are sick with no health insurance and some are still losing homes they have worked so hard to obtain. Now on the flip side, we have also heard pastors giving messages on Christians not experiencing recession and stories of Christians prospering through the recession. A message meant to encourage us to not be fearful of what is taking place around us and to fully trust God to provide our each and every need. But with those messages comes the responsibility of using wisdom in our everyday lives. My immediate family has not had to suffer through these times as many others have and I thank God for it. We’ve actually been blessed to be a blessing in some cases. And we bless God for that as well. But we also have cut back in certain areas, so we aren’t affected or even affected as much. Things we can’t afford, we don’t buy until we can afford them. Things we don’t need, we don’t buy until there is a need. Having a mind like Christ, is to operate as He would. Using wisdom with the knowledge we have of His grace and mercy, will get us all through the recession. That’s why it’s important to teach our children to be prepare their minds to be the lenders and the borrowers. There is no need for any of us to be slaves to debit or consumption. One of God’s promise and desire has always been to provide us our every need.
If you are lead, try reading Deuteronomy 28, to rediscover or discover the blessings of obedience and Genesis Chapters 37 to 45, the story of Joseph.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it’s a choice. ~ Delphine
2 Tim 1:7 -- For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.
Phil 4:19 -- “And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children…Cultivate Your Minds With The Positives
Today’s tidbit is a short one. I’m going to piggy back from another Tuesday Tidbit I posted a couple of weeks ago by posting the powerful writing below. It’s from a wonderfully written powerful book entitled “As A Man Thinketh”, written by James Allen.
A Man’s mind may be liked to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or neglected, it must and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind. ~ James Allen
Be Blessed and encouraged today, it’s a choice. ~ Delphine
Luke 24:45 Then opened he their understanding, that they might understand the scriptures,
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Today’s tidbit is a short one. I’m going to piggy back from another Tuesday Tidbit I posted a couple of weeks ago by posting the powerful writing below. It’s from a wonderfully written powerful book entitled “As A Man Thinketh”, written by James Allen.
A Man’s mind may be liked to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or neglected, it must and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind. ~ James Allen
Be Blessed and encouraged today, it’s a choice. ~ Delphine
Luke 24:45 Then opened he their understanding, that they might understand the scriptures,
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Good Read of The Month
For sixteen years, my mother's hands represented strength to me...And then, one night, my mother's hands became a weapon... That's my man, she said. Her voice was a low, hoarse whisper. The way she snarled at me made the skin at the back of my neck tingle... Don't you ever -- she slammed my head down --Ever-- slammed it down again, Step to my man. You hear me?! ...What hurt more than any physical pain was the fact that this woman was my own mother. But what really hurt me was that it was all over a man. And it was over her man. A man who was not my father. A man who was not even her husband...She'd looked at me with sheer hatred in her eyes. All because I'd dare to challenge a man who I believed had no business in our house at all.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children...To be Responsible Adults
Part of being a responsible adult is casting your vote. Be an example to your children(future adults), by voting and by allowing them to see or discuss your vote. Do your research and don't be fooled by the mainstream. Too many people before us made too many scarfices for us to not vote. There was a time when we were not allowed or even acknowledged as human beings to vote. Let's not go backwards. Cast your vote and be counted. A right we shouldn't take for granted.
Part of being a responsible adult is casting your vote. Be an example to your children(future adults), by voting and by allowing them to see or discuss your vote. Do your research and don't be fooled by the mainstream. Too many people before us made too many scarfices for us to not vote. There was a time when we were not allowed or even acknowledged as human beings to vote. Let's not go backwards. Cast your vote and be counted. A right we shouldn't take for granted.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Vote -- And A Few Reasons Why You Need To!
• 13th Amendment Abolished slavery --- Abolish means To get rid of
• 14th Amendment All people born in the US are citizens with equal rights
• 15th Amendment Right to vote for all male citizens
• Abraham Lincoln's Reconstruction Plan 13th Amendment, South never really left the union, forgiveness
• Andrew Johnson's Reconstruction Plan Similar to Lincoln's plan offering forgiveness but also gave amnesty to Confederate Leaders
• Reconstruction Historical period marked by military occupation, Constitutional changes and Presidential Impeachment
• Radical Republicans Congressmen who wanted full equality for freedmen and disagreed with President Johnson's Plan
• Poll tax, Literacy Test, Grandfather Clause Voting barriers for African Americans, limited the effectiveness of the 15th Amendment
• Jim Crow Laws Created segregation in the South
• Reconstruction Amendments Attempted to provide political and legal rights for Freedmen and created a Constitutional basis for the Civil Rights Movement
• Sharecropping A form of Agriculture that limited the freedom of African Americans by keeping them on the plantation and dependent on their former masters
• End of Reconstruction Due to the Election of Rutherford B Hayes in 1877 the Federal troops were removed from the south
• Black Codes Regulations that limited the freedom of African Americans
• Freedmen Formerly enslaved persons (African Americans) after the Civil War
• Plessy v. Ferguson (1896) provided for legal segration based on race if "separate but equal" facilities were available
• Booker T Washington African American leader who advocated vocational training as way of economic opportunity and gradual equality for African Americans
• W.E.B. DuBois African Americans should achieve immediate equality by obtaining college education and challenging segregation in court
• NAACP Organization created by WEB DuBois to provide lawyers for African Americans whose civil rights were violated
• Tuskegee Institute Vocation training school created by Booker T Washington in order to improve the economic standing of African Americans
• Great Migration Period from 1900-1930 where African Americans left sharecropping in the south to obtain factory jobs in northern urban areas
• Little Rock 9 1st group of black students who were able to attend an all-white school because President Eisenhower used the military to enforce the Brown v. Board of Education decision
• Desegregation of Armed Forces Executive order by President Harry Truman to integrate the Armed Forces after WWII
• Montgomery Bus Boycott Official beginning of the Civil Rights movement, Martin Luther King Jr. becomes a national celebrity
• Civil Disobedience Based on writings of Saint Augustine and actions of Gandhi, citizens used non-violence to peacefully break unjust laws
• Sit Ins -- An example of civil disobedience used to force the desegregation of lunch counters
• Brown v. Board of Education (1954) reversed the Plessy v. Ferguson (1896) decision, declaring that "separate but equal is inherently unequal" and legally ended segregation
• Civil Rights Act (1964) Passed after Martin Luther King's March on Washington it made it a crime to discriminate based on race or gender
• Voting Rights Act (1965) Made it a crime to create barriers or restrictions to voting
• Freedom Rides and Selma Montgomery March Peaceful actions used to end barriers of African American voting rights
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children….Your Perception is Your Reality
A well-known saying goes “you are what you eat” the same goes for ”you are what you think you are”. Your perception can indeed be your reality. So if you have desires that are bigger than the norm for you, your family, and those around you. By all means, do you and be you, by thinking outside that invisible box that many will try and place you in. We are children of God. We can’t allow ourselves to think we are less than what He made us to be. We are wonderfully and beautifully made and greater is He that lives in us, then he that lives in this world. Don’t allow anyone to plant seeds of discouragement or limits in your lives or your children's lives. Allow yourselves as well as your children to dream bigger than you can dream and encourage them to dream bigger than they can dream for themselves. Nurture those natural talents and see God manifest something that you never even thought could become possible. See much farther than your natural eyes can see. Live, love, and nurture more than you thought humanly possible and see God move all obstacles on your behalf. It’s always been mind over matter, and that’s what’s so wonderful about having faith in God. It’s also what’s so wonderful about His grace, His mercy and His favor. When we utilize faith. We can do anything. God has no limits, and we should not limit ourselves because of who we are in Him. The bible says,” Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” It also says,” I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” So start utilizing that faith you claim and see God make your perceptions your reality.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it’s your choice. ~Delphine
Ephesians 3:20 -- Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
Philippians 4:13 -- I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Hebrews 11:1 -- Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
A well-known saying goes “you are what you eat” the same goes for ”you are what you think you are”. Your perception can indeed be your reality. So if you have desires that are bigger than the norm for you, your family, and those around you. By all means, do you and be you, by thinking outside that invisible box that many will try and place you in. We are children of God. We can’t allow ourselves to think we are less than what He made us to be. We are wonderfully and beautifully made and greater is He that lives in us, then he that lives in this world. Don’t allow anyone to plant seeds of discouragement or limits in your lives or your children's lives. Allow yourselves as well as your children to dream bigger than you can dream and encourage them to dream bigger than they can dream for themselves. Nurture those natural talents and see God manifest something that you never even thought could become possible. See much farther than your natural eyes can see. Live, love, and nurture more than you thought humanly possible and see God move all obstacles on your behalf. It’s always been mind over matter, and that’s what’s so wonderful about having faith in God. It’s also what’s so wonderful about His grace, His mercy and His favor. When we utilize faith. We can do anything. God has no limits, and we should not limit ourselves because of who we are in Him. The bible says,” Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” It also says,” I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” So start utilizing that faith you claim and see God make your perceptions your reality.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it’s your choice. ~Delphine
Ephesians 3:20 -- Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
Philippians 4:13 -- I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Hebrews 11:1 -- Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children To.....Seek God's Guidance.
Psalm 32:8 reads, "I will make you wise and show you where to go. I will guide you and watch over you."
This scripture says it loud and clear, seeking God's guidance will allow us to make wise decisions.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine
Psalm 32:8 reads, "I will make you wise and show you where to go. I will guide you and watch over you."
This scripture says it loud and clear, seeking God's guidance will allow us to make wise decisions.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children...About God's Grace
3 Principals for Christians Under God’s Grace to Live By.
1) A life of grace begins with mutual acceptance.
(We all are children of God)
2) A attitude of grace requires releasing others to be who they are.
(Freedom begins in God)
3) A commitment to grace means I never assume a role, I'm not qualified to fill. (Don’t judge others)
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine
2 Corinthians 12:9 -- And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for My strength is made perfect in weakness
Ephesians 2:8 -- For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God
Philippians 4:19 -- But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
3 Principals for Christians Under God’s Grace to Live By.
1) A life of grace begins with mutual acceptance.
(We all are children of God)
2) A attitude of grace requires releasing others to be who they are.
(Freedom begins in God)
3) A commitment to grace means I never assume a role, I'm not qualified to fill. (Don’t judge others)
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine
2 Corinthians 12:9 -- And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for My strength is made perfect in weakness
Ephesians 2:8 -- For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God
Philippians 4:19 -- But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Monday, October 11, 2010
One For The Kids
After doing a post on an African-american author whose main characters are brown kids. I discovered more authors that write for our kids. So begins my monthly book selection for brown kids, entitled "One For The Kids".
Keena Ford lives with her middle-school-age brother and mother in Washington, DC. Her father lives in Maryland, and she sees him on weekends. Eric is her best friend, but disaster strikes when he is assigned to the other second grade class. Both children try to convince the other that their classroom is more delightful. Not only does jealousy creep into their relationship, Keena creeps into serious trouble by ending up under the teacher's desk in Eric's classroom.
Keena's proclivity for unintended consequences is given a thorough workout in this wonderful early chapter book. She is a delightful new character. Her thinking processes are revealed to be entirely understandable to young readers, but the repercussions are quite funny. One can only hope that this book is only the beginning of a long and happy relationship with Keena.
Keena Ford lives with her middle-school-age brother and mother in Washington, DC. Her father lives in Maryland, and she sees him on weekends. Eric is her best friend, but disaster strikes when he is assigned to the other second grade class. Both children try to convince the other that their classroom is more delightful. Not only does jealousy creep into their relationship, Keena creeps into serious trouble by ending up under the teacher's desk in Eric's classroom.
Keena's proclivity for unintended consequences is given a thorough workout in this wonderful early chapter book. She is a delightful new character. Her thinking processes are revealed to be entirely understandable to young readers, but the repercussions are quite funny. One can only hope that this book is only the beginning of a long and happy relationship with Keena.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Good Read of The Month
I read this book while on maternity leave back in 2003. It was a real eye opener for me and think it will be for all of those who read it. During my last pregnancy, my husband and I both only worked part-time. I was actually considered a quarter-time employee because I worked a total of thirty-hours per week to keep my benefits. My husband and I made the decision to have one of us become a part-time employee so we could nurture our family more but it worked out where we both could work part-time for a while. Am I am truly grateful for it. With that being said, towards the end of my pregnancy I found out my husband wasn't getting his paycheck on regular schedule because the company he was working for was having some financial difficulties and couldn't pay their employees at weeks at a time, and some employees had to go a month without being paid. Well my husband kept this news from me because he didn't want me to worry. But once he told me, I became worried that I would need to get back to work sooner then the 10 weeks I had requested off. Well by God's grace, I got my ten weeks off and we never skipped a beat in providing for our family because we had been wise in how we managed our household as well as our finances. I'm sharing this story to say, I'm truly blessed to have the husband I have. And because of God's favor and my husband's upbringing, as well as his professional training, life was good. My husband made some smart moves early on in his life, as far as investments, moves that would allow him to provide for his future family no matter if he had a job or not. We are truly blessed to not be in a two income trap situation but we also plan and make the necessary sacrifices in hopes of never having to be. We as a family have been blessed to be blessings to others, and because of that God has remained faithful to our family. I encourage everyone to read this book, it's a eye opener and points out the true reasons some of us are stuck in the two income trap.
Enjoy the read.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children...How To Grow And Live.
An old Chinese Proverb says, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.". We as parents must teach our children this concept while they are young so when they are older and of age to be on their own that they will be able to fend for themselves. Since I have been in the business of renting and working with parents of youngs adults in college, I see many kids not prepared to make their mark in the world because parents have sheltered them and held their hands to long. Not allowing our children to venture out, to make their mistakes and learn from them, to try new things, or to be accountable -- stunts their growth. We must learn to trust God and what we have instilled in our kids to manifest. We so called caring parents are doing more enabling then helping. I read recently in a most powerful book, "that most parents with child(ren) extremely independent, achievement-oriented, and well disciplined by instinct will nurture these traits by not controlling his or her decisions. Instead, they spend more time helping the less resourceful child(ren) make decisions, or they actually make decisions for them. With that result, they strengthen the strong child and weaken the weak." Interesting isn't it. Let's as mothers of brown children allow our children to grown into their God ordained destinies by guiding them with our nurturing love and knowledge by teaching them to walk, so they may one day run. It's important for us as parents to be the watchmen on the walls when it comes to our seeds but it's also important to not allow our watching to cause us to enable them.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~ Delphine
Hebrews 10:36 You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
2 Timothy 3:15 -16 But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.
An old Chinese Proverb says, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.". We as parents must teach our children this concept while they are young so when they are older and of age to be on their own that they will be able to fend for themselves. Since I have been in the business of renting and working with parents of youngs adults in college, I see many kids not prepared to make their mark in the world because parents have sheltered them and held their hands to long. Not allowing our children to venture out, to make their mistakes and learn from them, to try new things, or to be accountable -- stunts their growth. We must learn to trust God and what we have instilled in our kids to manifest. We so called caring parents are doing more enabling then helping. I read recently in a most powerful book, "that most parents with child(ren) extremely independent, achievement-oriented, and well disciplined by instinct will nurture these traits by not controlling his or her decisions. Instead, they spend more time helping the less resourceful child(ren) make decisions, or they actually make decisions for them. With that result, they strengthen the strong child and weaken the weak." Interesting isn't it. Let's as mothers of brown children allow our children to grown into their God ordained destinies by guiding them with our nurturing love and knowledge by teaching them to walk, so they may one day run. It's important for us as parents to be the watchmen on the walls when it comes to our seeds but it's also important to not allow our watching to cause us to enable them.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~ Delphine
Hebrews 10:36 You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
2 Timothy 3:15 -16 But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children...A Mother's Love
A wise woman shared with me several years ago that what I do for my children should not be for them to love me but because I love them. What a seed she planted in my life as well as my children's lives and all children close to me. This particularly wise woman doesn't have any children of her own but she has nurtured her nieces and nephews and grand nieces and nephews with this type of love. A mother's love. When you think about God's discipline and His correcting that's just how he does it. He's responding out of His love for us not for Him to receive our love even though I'm sure He desires that from His children. When we make our children eat the vegetables they don't like it's because we love them and know it's one of the requirements for them to grow strong and healthy. When we set a scheduled time for bed, it's not just because we want some down time, it's because we know they need their rest to be productive in school the next day. When we tell them "no" because we know it's for their own good, that's a mother responding out of love for her child. I've had one of my very lovable children say to me on several occasions that they hate having me as their mother because I always tell them "no" and I've always responded I love you more. That same response as gotten me an apology and hugs later. Acting of love is always best. Just a couple of weekends ago I spent a day with two of my active nephews who probably think I'm the worst auntie ever because I try and hold them accountable for their actions. Well after a morning of being disobedient to what I had requested of them, I finally told them their disobedience had cost them the privilege of being treated to something special that day. I explained to them that obedience is always better than sacrifice. Towards the end of our day together, I told them I discipline them not because I'm mean and impatient but because I love them and want only the best for them. I do it because I love them and not for them to love me because in the end, I know they will love me even more for being the one who loved them enough to say "stop it" or even strong enough to tell them "no". A mother's love goes a long way when she's doing it out of love and not just for the temporal sake of love from the ones she's loving.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine
Hebrews 12:7-11 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Proverbs 13:24 He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.
Titus 2:4 Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
A wise woman shared with me several years ago that what I do for my children should not be for them to love me but because I love them. What a seed she planted in my life as well as my children's lives and all children close to me. This particularly wise woman doesn't have any children of her own but she has nurtured her nieces and nephews and grand nieces and nephews with this type of love. A mother's love. When you think about God's discipline and His correcting that's just how he does it. He's responding out of His love for us not for Him to receive our love even though I'm sure He desires that from His children. When we make our children eat the vegetables they don't like it's because we love them and know it's one of the requirements for them to grow strong and healthy. When we set a scheduled time for bed, it's not just because we want some down time, it's because we know they need their rest to be productive in school the next day. When we tell them "no" because we know it's for their own good, that's a mother responding out of love for her child. I've had one of my very lovable children say to me on several occasions that they hate having me as their mother because I always tell them "no" and I've always responded I love you more. That same response as gotten me an apology and hugs later. Acting of love is always best. Just a couple of weekends ago I spent a day with two of my active nephews who probably think I'm the worst auntie ever because I try and hold them accountable for their actions. Well after a morning of being disobedient to what I had requested of them, I finally told them their disobedience had cost them the privilege of being treated to something special that day. I explained to them that obedience is always better than sacrifice. Towards the end of our day together, I told them I discipline them not because I'm mean and impatient but because I love them and want only the best for them. I do it because I love them and not for them to love me because in the end, I know they will love me even more for being the one who loved them enough to say "stop it" or even strong enough to tell them "no". A mother's love goes a long way when she's doing it out of love and not just for the temporal sake of love from the ones she's loving.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine
Hebrews 12:7-11 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Proverbs 13:24 He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.
Titus 2:4 Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Thought Provoking Article
Very interesting article I found over at Essence.com. I would be remiss if I didn't pass it on. Read it and share it. It could possibly be describing your life or the life of one of your sisters or friends. Makes us ponder why some of us live our lives the way we do.
Balancing Act: I'm Too Overwhelmed to Find My Passion
by Anonymous, as told to S. Tia Brown
The Cosbys don't have jack on my family. I'm young, Black and very middle class. Plus, I have the three B's -- babies, bling (on the ring finger) and body (yep, still rocking a size 8). I've been happily married for almost a decade. I have the lovely house I've always imagined. I have a supportive church home. I have wonderful girlfriends. When I think about how much God has blessed me, I am truly overjoyed. But, when I think about managing it all one word comes to mind: overwhelmed.
Yes, I've attained all of my goals and desires, but I missed one major thing on the journey: figuring out me. I'm 32 years old and I have a dirty little secret -- I never took the time to determine what would truly make me happy. As ridiculous as it may sound, it is absolutely true. I went to college because society says successful people are educated. I got my Bachelor's degree in Business because it's an evergreen field. I got married because I loved my boyfriend and we'd dated for years. I had kids because I was a wife and my clock was ticking. I got a Master's degree in Management Information Systems because my job -- which I already knew I hated -- paid for it. Do you get my drift?
I epitomize that good 'ole saying, "Do the right thing." But what happens when Mrs. Perfect is ready to do what's considered wrong? At night I lay awake in my bed and fantasize -- in between late-night baby feedings, the now occasional bump 'n grind with my hubby and creating a mental to-do list for the next day -- what my life could be like if I pursued my passion... that is, if I knew what it was. I do know that it's not toiling my life away and crunching numbers for a corporation.
In three years I'll be 35-years-old and I am scared. The little girl in me is smiling; you know the happy, infectious, toothy-grin that is only derived from sincere joy. I love my kids and my husband -- I have to include that caveat before I get to this part. But she is, or was, naive. Sometimes, most times, no, a lot of the times... it's all too much. The fairy tales and sitcoms never tell you that you don't get commercial breaks in real life. I'm always on. Whether I'm in the office, in my living room, or in my bedroom, everyone wants, needs, asks for a piece of me. All I want is a little peace. I need time to think, no better yet, feel.
This year I realized I've spent my whole life analyzing what I should be doing but never invested much time is figuring what I am meant to do. When I said I have one secret, I lied. Here's the other: I am equal parts fearless and chicken-hearted. Maybe emotionally paralyzed is better? I can't imagine asking my husband to let me take off time from work, or even quit -- though we could likely more than afford it -- to "find me." Isn't that for White rich kids? Furthermore, I have no idea what I'm meant to do. I just know I love helping people. I've pondered it all: working for a non-profit organization, event planning, even couples counseling.
Today I'm trying to balance finding the time to learn my true purpose while existing in an ideal that's no longer mine. I want to let go of preconceived notions of success (the picture of happiness and wealth) and redefine them on my terms. Moreover, I want to carve out the time to put my other titles aside -- mommy, wife and employee -- and focus the most important one, "me." I just wish I knew where to begin.
Finding your life's purpose isn't easy -- especially when you have other responsibilities. Tell us where you are on that journey.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children....The Importance of Expressing Your Feelings.
It's importance to encourage our young children, old children, husbands, boyfriends, family members, friends, and coworkers to express what their really feeling. There is always an appropriate time and place for that expressing but the need is always there - that's called creating a balance for the one expressing the feelings and for the one hearing it. We should not leave room for assumptions because most likely "the assumption", your assumption is wrong. We live and function in a society where we behave as robots/robotics and then when we do see those expressions of true feelings we see "transformers". To keep it short, men and women miss out on love and being loved...they didn't express their true feelings. Men and women get abused,used, and neglected...they didn't express their true feelings. Children have suffered abuse and neglect...they couldn't express true feelings. We miss out on promotions and opportunities...we don't express our true feelings.
If you love him or her...express it.
If you don't like it....express it.
If your angry...express it.
If your sad...express it.
If you don't trust or believe what's being said....express it.
If you want or need to leave...express it.
If you want it...express it.
If you don't know what or how to feel...still express it.
Be honest with yourself first by letting others know what you're really feeling, you'll be surprised by the response you receive. I am 41 years old and I'm still learning to express myself. Think about if I were taught as a child to express myself :).
Be Blessed and Encouraged today,it's your choice. ~ Delphine
It's importance to encourage our young children, old children, husbands, boyfriends, family members, friends, and coworkers to express what their really feeling. There is always an appropriate time and place for that expressing but the need is always there - that's called creating a balance for the one expressing the feelings and for the one hearing it. We should not leave room for assumptions because most likely "the assumption", your assumption is wrong. We live and function in a society where we behave as robots/robotics and then when we do see those expressions of true feelings we see "transformers". To keep it short, men and women miss out on love and being loved...they didn't express their true feelings. Men and women get abused,used, and neglected...they didn't express their true feelings. Children have suffered abuse and neglect...they couldn't express true feelings. We miss out on promotions and opportunities...we don't express our true feelings.
If you love him or her...express it.
If you don't like it....express it.
If your angry...express it.
If your sad...express it.
If you don't trust or believe what's being said....express it.
If you want or need to leave...express it.
If you want it...express it.
If you don't know what or how to feel...still express it.
Be honest with yourself first by letting others know what you're really feeling, you'll be surprised by the response you receive. I am 41 years old and I'm still learning to express myself. Think about if I were taught as a child to express myself :).
Be Blessed and Encouraged today,it's your choice. ~ Delphine
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Some Afternoon Humor
Two Little Boys.
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew all about it.
If any mischief occurred in their town, the two boys were probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, 'Do you know where God is, son?'The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, 'Where is God?' Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, 'Where is God?' The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, 'What happened?'
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, 'We are in BIG trouble this time,'
(I just LOVE reading this next line again and again :)
'GOD is missing, and they think we did it!
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew all about it.
If any mischief occurred in their town, the two boys were probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, 'Do you know where God is, son?'The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, 'Where is God?' Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, 'Where is God?' The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, 'What happened?'
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, 'We are in BIG trouble this time,'
(I just LOVE reading this next line again and again :)
'GOD is missing, and they think we did it!
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children...Every Person or Household Is Not The Same.
Ladies, having three kids that range in the ages of 7 to 22 years, I've gone through years of hearing that "such and such can", "such and such has this or that", "that's not fair", "why can't I" and on,on. Anyway maybe if kids are taught early that every person/household is not the same we would not have as many kids or adults, pardon my use of the cliche'- "trying to keep up with the Jones(s)". I got to tell you I was one of those kids and I definitely turned into one of those adults.(Being honest with self is therapeutic) Learning early on that every person/household is different, would make understanding that every mom, dad, husband, wife, sister, brother, teacher, salary, house, job, car, boss, bank account and so on is not going to be exactly like yours. Break the trendy cycle of keeping up with the Jones(s) by sharing with your kids today that every person/household is unique,not every person or household is the same nor are they required to be the same. What works for you or your household my not work for your friend's or neighbor's household. We all have seen, read, or heard the saying, " that there will always be someone smarter, someone that looks better, cooks better, cleans better, speaks better, writes better, has the husband that does more around the house or with the kids, makes more money, lives in the bigger house, drives the nicer car, kids do better in school or even behave better", it may all be true or it could just be your perception. Just do you! Just be you! Just do your best in being and enjoying who and what God created and blessed you to be.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine
Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Philippians 4:6-9 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
Ladies, having three kids that range in the ages of 7 to 22 years, I've gone through years of hearing that "such and such can", "such and such has this or that", "that's not fair", "why can't I" and on,on. Anyway maybe if kids are taught early that every person/household is not the same we would not have as many kids or adults, pardon my use of the cliche'- "trying to keep up with the Jones(s)". I got to tell you I was one of those kids and I definitely turned into one of those adults.(Being honest with self is therapeutic) Learning early on that every person/household is different, would make understanding that every mom, dad, husband, wife, sister, brother, teacher, salary, house, job, car, boss, bank account and so on is not going to be exactly like yours. Break the trendy cycle of keeping up with the Jones(s) by sharing with your kids today that every person/household is unique,not every person or household is the same nor are they required to be the same. What works for you or your household my not work for your friend's or neighbor's household. We all have seen, read, or heard the saying, " that there will always be someone smarter, someone that looks better, cooks better, cleans better, speaks better, writes better, has the husband that does more around the house or with the kids, makes more money, lives in the bigger house, drives the nicer car, kids do better in school or even behave better", it may all be true or it could just be your perception. Just do you! Just be you! Just do your best in being and enjoying who and what God created and blessed you to be.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine
Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Philippians 4:6-9 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Good Read of The Month
The first rule is, always live well below your means. The last rule is, choose your occupation wisely. You'll have to buy the book to find out the other five. It's only fair. The authors' conclusions are commonsensical. But, as they point out, their prescription often flies in the face of what we think wealthy people should do. There are no pop stars or athletes in this book, but plenty of wall-board manufacturers--particularly ones who take cheap, infrequent vacations! Stanley and Danko mercilessly show how wealth takes sacrifice, discipline, and hard work, qualities that are positively discouraged by our high-consumption society. "You aren't what you drive," admonish the authors. Somewhere, Benjamin Franklin is smiling. --
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Child...Matthew 7:12
Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine
Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Something Extra for Married Couples
I came across this video from the site of bloggers Lamar and Ronnie Tyler. They are bloggers over at for Essence.Com. The name of their blog site is Black and Married With Kids. They are a great couple, with great advice.
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children...Be Ye Doers of the Word
May people claim to be Christians or followers of God but do the opposite of His word. Teaching our children to take heed to what they have been taught as children in Christ, provides them the wisdom they need as adults to live free in Christ. 2 Timothy 2:15 reads “Study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman that needs not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” Once we learn God word, our true hearts should compel us to do what His word says. Let's be doers of the word as children and adults, and not just hearers only.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~ Delphine
1 Corinthians 1:18 -- For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.
James 1:22 -- But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.
2 Timothy 2:15 -- Study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman that needs not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
Proverbs 22:6 -- Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
May people claim to be Christians or followers of God but do the opposite of His word. Teaching our children to take heed to what they have been taught as children in Christ, provides them the wisdom they need as adults to live free in Christ. 2 Timothy 2:15 reads “Study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman that needs not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” Once we learn God word, our true hearts should compel us to do what His word says. Let's be doers of the word as children and adults, and not just hearers only.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~ Delphine
1 Corinthians 1:18 -- For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.
James 1:22 -- But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.
2 Timothy 2:15 -- Study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman that needs not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
Proverbs 22:6 -- Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Good Read of the Month
Two kids with the same name, living in the same city. One grew up to be a Rhodes Scholar, decorated combat veteran, White House Fellow, and business leader. The other is serving a life sentence in prison for felony murder. Here is the story of two boys and the journey of a generation.
In December 2000, the Baltimore Sun ran a small piece about Wes Moore, a local student who had just received a Rhodes Scholarship. The same paper also ran a series of articles about four young men who had allegedly killed a police officer in a spectacularly botched armed robbery. The police were still hunting for two of the suspects who had gone on the lam, a pair of brothers. One was named Wes Moore.
Wes just couldn’t shake off the unsettling coincidence, or the inkling that the two shared much more than space in the same newspaper. After following the story of the robbery, the manhunt, and the trial to its conclusion, he wrote a letter to the other Wes, now a convicted murderer serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole. His letter tentatively asked the questions that had been haunting him: Who are you? How did this happen?
Tuesday Tidbits
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children That....Rash Decisions Has Consequences
Talk about stressing then you are talking about me today. My oldest son has recently made some decisions that he is now suffering from. Decisions I warned him against but he had to have it his way. Now he's calling on me to help him out and I can't. I can't on principal alone. I can't because I want him to be held accountable. I can't because I want him to realize his mistakes. I can't because I want him to grow up. I can't because it's a big risk for me financially. I can't because I said I wouldn't. I can't because other parents have warned me I'll regret the decision later. I can't because it's something I know he can't afford or deserve. And finally, I can't because my husband is against it. But as a mother I want to help when I know I shouldn't. Because of all the can'ts all I can do is pray that God provides a way. A way that excludes me from getting in the way of my son becoming a responsible man.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine
Proverbs 1:8-9 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.
Psalms 103:13 As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.
Proverbs 10:1 The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother.
Talk about stressing then you are talking about me today. My oldest son has recently made some decisions that he is now suffering from. Decisions I warned him against but he had to have it his way. Now he's calling on me to help him out and I can't. I can't on principal alone. I can't because I want him to be held accountable. I can't because I want him to realize his mistakes. I can't because I want him to grow up. I can't because it's a big risk for me financially. I can't because I said I wouldn't. I can't because other parents have warned me I'll regret the decision later. I can't because it's something I know he can't afford or deserve. And finally, I can't because my husband is against it. But as a mother I want to help when I know I shouldn't. Because of all the can'ts all I can do is pray that God provides a way. A way that excludes me from getting in the way of my son becoming a responsible man.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine
Proverbs 1:8-9 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.
Psalms 103:13 As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.
Proverbs 10:1 The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Good Read of the Month
I stumbled across this book during one of my weekly library visits with my boys. The title caught my attention. I opened the book up, read the first few pages and began to weep. Reading this book causes me to reflect on the women in my life and causes me to do some soul searching. Letters written to our First Lady by women who are first ladies in their own rights. Women who have written about how they see Michelle Obama and how she represents them or someone they know or hold dear. Women who took the time to write a heartfelt letter to someone they admire and respect. I love this book of letters/compliments and will cherish it with all my visions of Michelle Obama and her family, our First Family. It's a showcase of love, that will always spring forth tears of joy and admiration for that family of brown folk in the White House. I thank the authors, Barbara A. Seals Nevergold and Peggy Brooks-Bertram, and I thank the all first ladies who wrote the letters and poems to Our First Lady Michelle Obama.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children That.....Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder.
Ladies, our children's view of self beauty should be validated by their parents early on. All parents should be confirming their boys and girls by letting them know that they are handsome/beautiful. When we look at our children we should readily see a form of God's beauty. Let them know early on that they are beautiful in the skin they are in -- building up self esteem and nurturing a positive self image while they are young prepares them for life. Compliment them on their skin, their hair, their smiles, and their bodies....all the things God created and blessed them with. Cultivate their inner beauty. Tell them that the reflection they see in the mirror is beautiful...flaws and all. Let them know that TRUE beauty is more than skin deep and that inner beauty is also attractive. Let us remind them as well as ourselves that God looks at the heart and that beauty is in the e ye of the beholder. Ask yourself today what beauty or beauties are your eyes and your children's eyes beholding.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine
I see the beauty of God's grace and mercy.....when I see a new day because tomorrow is not promised.
I see the beauty of life.....when I see a pregnant woman or a old man/woman.
I see the beauty of Africa...when I look at my husband.
I see the beauty of healthy teeth and mouth.....when I see my son Destin smile.
I see the beauty of raising boys.....when I look at my boys.
I see the beauty of unity.....during praise and worship at church.
I see the beauty of a black woman.....when I look in the mirror.
I see the beauty of sister-hood.....when I am out chilling with my girls.
This is just a peek of the abundance of BEAUTY that my eyes behold.
Ecclesiastes 3:11, He hath made every thing beautiful in his time.
Ladies, our children's view of self beauty should be validated by their parents early on. All parents should be confirming their boys and girls by letting them know that they are handsome/beautiful. When we look at our children we should readily see a form of God's beauty. Let them know early on that they are beautiful in the skin they are in -- building up self esteem and nurturing a positive self image while they are young prepares them for life. Compliment them on their skin, their hair, their smiles, and their bodies....all the things God created and blessed them with. Cultivate their inner beauty. Tell them that the reflection they see in the mirror is beautiful...flaws and all. Let them know that TRUE beauty is more than skin deep and that inner beauty is also attractive. Let us remind them as well as ourselves that God looks at the heart and that beauty is in the e ye of the beholder. Ask yourself today what beauty or beauties are your eyes and your children's eyes beholding.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine
I see the beauty of God's grace and mercy.....when I see a new day because tomorrow is not promised.
I see the beauty of life.....when I see a pregnant woman or a old man/woman.
I see the beauty of Africa...when I look at my husband.
I see the beauty of healthy teeth and mouth.....when I see my son Destin smile.
I see the beauty of raising boys.....when I look at my boys.
I see the beauty of unity.....during praise and worship at church.
I see the beauty of a black woman.....when I look in the mirror.
I see the beauty of sister-hood.....when I am out chilling with my girls.
This is just a peek of the abundance of BEAUTY that my eyes behold.
Ecclesiastes 3:11, He hath made every thing beautiful in his time.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children....To Say " I Love You".
It feels good to be loved. And it feels good to be told that you are. Growing up I don't remember being told "I love you" as much as I tell my kids that "I love ya'll" or even hear it being said to me as often as I hear it from them. I'm amazed at how nurturing and loving they are. I really believe you teach people, how you want to be treated and I'm glad that I show love and get treated in love.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine
Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection [as members of one family], giving precedence and showing honor to one another.
1 John 3:18 Little children, let us not love [merely] in theory or in speech but in deed and in truth (in practice and in sincerity).
Proverbs 3:12 For whom the Lord loves He corrects, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.
It feels good to be loved. And it feels good to be told that you are. Growing up I don't remember being told "I love you" as much as I tell my kids that "I love ya'll" or even hear it being said to me as often as I hear it from them. I'm amazed at how nurturing and loving they are. I really believe you teach people, how you want to be treated and I'm glad that I show love and get treated in love.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine
Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection [as members of one family], giving precedence and showing honor to one another.
1 John 3:18 Little children, let us not love [merely] in theory or in speech but in deed and in truth (in practice and in sincerity).
Proverbs 3:12 For whom the Lord loves He corrects, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children....To Take Advantage of the Opportunity.
Over the past few weeks I've been busy working with students who are interested in renting from us. Young adults with great spirits and bright futures ahead of them. Some with full support from parents and some with parents who can do nothing to support them. It is very refreshing and encouraging to see all them in their glory. Some who are eager to make an impression and some just eager for the opportunity. I look forward to watching them achieve all their goals. I look forward to them making their mark in this world. I will enjoy seeing them succeed and I will appreciate having been a stepping stone on their climb. This is a ministry for me. This is my way of giving back to people who are just like me. My desire is for them to take advantage of the opportunity provided, and not the person providing them the opportunity. Rather it be their parents, their friends, their university, their professors, their employers, their mentors, or their landlords. My prayer is that they are able to make a positive difference in this world because they choose to take advantage of the opportunities offered to them.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine
Proverbs 1: 5 "A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:"
Ecclesiastes 11:4 "Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant. If they watch every cloud, they never harvest."
Over the past few weeks I've been busy working with students who are interested in renting from us. Young adults with great spirits and bright futures ahead of them. Some with full support from parents and some with parents who can do nothing to support them. It is very refreshing and encouraging to see all them in their glory. Some who are eager to make an impression and some just eager for the opportunity. I look forward to watching them achieve all their goals. I look forward to them making their mark in this world. I will enjoy seeing them succeed and I will appreciate having been a stepping stone on their climb. This is a ministry for me. This is my way of giving back to people who are just like me. My desire is for them to take advantage of the opportunity provided, and not the person providing them the opportunity. Rather it be their parents, their friends, their university, their professors, their employers, their mentors, or their landlords. My prayer is that they are able to make a positive difference in this world because they choose to take advantage of the opportunities offered to them.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine
Proverbs 1: 5 "A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:"
Ecclesiastes 11:4 "Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant. If they watch every cloud, they never harvest."
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children...That They Are Wonderfully Made
Being a mother I have learned that you can put things out there that can damage your child's spirit even into adulthood. My goal is to love, nurture, and discipline my children as God will have me. I can only do that by taking heed to and understanding His word. We aren't given manuals on raising children when we are released from the hospital but the bible does offer instructions to parents when it comes to rearing our children. I have learned through experience that words spoken out of anger and hurt can cut a spirit and leave scars. I choose to bond with my children and not break the natural bond by nurturing those He has entrusted to my care. I choose to speak life and not death over them. I choose to tell them they are fearfully and wonderfully made by God, the one who loves them more then I ever could. I choose to plants seeds of strength and encouragement, that will spring forth fruits of men who are full of valor. I choose to love them even when they don't understand that even discipline is love in action. I am a wonderful mother with wonderful children because we are fearfully and wonderfully made by someone who loves us more than we deserve. I'm happy to be a mother. And I am so grateful for the children God has blessed me with.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine
Psalm 139:14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Ephesians 6: 4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."
Luke 12:7 But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.
Being a mother I have learned that you can put things out there that can damage your child's spirit even into adulthood. My goal is to love, nurture, and discipline my children as God will have me. I can only do that by taking heed to and understanding His word. We aren't given manuals on raising children when we are released from the hospital but the bible does offer instructions to parents when it comes to rearing our children. I have learned through experience that words spoken out of anger and hurt can cut a spirit and leave scars. I choose to bond with my children and not break the natural bond by nurturing those He has entrusted to my care. I choose to speak life and not death over them. I choose to tell them they are fearfully and wonderfully made by God, the one who loves them more then I ever could. I choose to plants seeds of strength and encouragement, that will spring forth fruits of men who are full of valor. I choose to love them even when they don't understand that even discipline is love in action. I am a wonderful mother with wonderful children because we are fearfully and wonderfully made by someone who loves us more than we deserve. I'm happy to be a mother. And I am so grateful for the children God has blessed me with.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine
Psalm 139:14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Ephesians 6: 4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."
Luke 12:7 But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Good Read Of The Month
Tawawa House in many respects is like any other American resort before the Civil War. Situated in Ohio, this idyllic retreat is particularly nice in the summer when the Southern humidity is too much to bear. The main building, with its luxurious finishes, is loftier than the white cottages that flank it, but then again, the smaller structures are better positioned to catch any breeze that may come off the pond. And they provide more privacy, which best suits the needs of the Southern white men who vacation there every summer with their black, enslaved mistresses. It's their open secret.
Lizzie, Reenie, and Sweet are regulars at Tawawa House. They have become friends over the years as they reunite and share developments in their own lives and on their respective plantations. They don't bother too much with questions of freedom, though the resort is situated in free territory–but when truth-telling Mawu comes to the resort and starts talking of running away, things change.
To run is to leave behind everything these women value most–friends and families still down South–and for some it also means escaping from the emotional and psychological bonds that bind them to their masters. When a fire on the resort sets off a string of tragedies, the women of Tawawa House soon learn that triumph and dehumanization are inseparable and that love exists even in the most inhuman, brutal of circumstances–all while they are bearing witness to the end of an era.
An engaging, page-turning, and wholly original novel, Wench explores, with an unflinching eye, the moral complexities of slavery.
Mom, I Know You Love Me, But Do You Like Me?
Something very empowering from the Empowered Woman Stephanie Clark a blogger over at Essence.com
Happy Sunday Essence.com Family!
I was compelled to write this post as a prelude to Mother's Day which is less than a month away. Every time I think about this question, "Mom, I know you love me, but do you like me?", it strikes a chord deep in my spirit and takes me back to that poignant moment when these words were spoken from the mouth of my then 12 year-old daughter back in 2002.
This one question changed both my life and my daughter's life forever. It was a reality check for me that perhaps I wasn't as good a mom as I thought. This question has continued to challenge me to work harder to continue to put forth effort to make sure my daughter always feels love by me. My biggest challenge has not been telling her that I love her but expressing my love through my emotions and interactions with her. This was not so easy for me and I couldn't understand eight years ago why it was so difficult for me to hug or kiss on my daughter or just cuddle with her just because. I didn't understand why the simplest expressions of love and care were not a natural part of my being and my mothering. I was truly troubled by my inability to show unconditional love to my daughter. I have always been a loving, caring person to others, so this disconnect with my own daughter was perplexing to me.
Over the past eight years, I have had to learn how to love my daughter on a deeper level. What I mean by this is that I realized that loving my child was not only attributed to how I cared for her physical needs. Yes, I thought working hard to make sure she had a roof over her head, food to eat, clean, new clothes to wear and even some of her wants fulfilled was what mothers did because they love their children. Apparently, that was not enough, which is why she posed this question to me.
I have prayed and sought answers from God to reveal to me my shortcomings as a mother and to show me how to build a stronger, more loving relationship with my daughter. I am so thankful to God for hearing and answering my prayers.
What I later realized is that it is hard to give to others what you never received. My painful exploration took me back to my childhood. It made me reflect and assess my relationship with my own mother growing up and as an adult. First, I love my mom, who is 85 years young, dearly. She is the strongest woman I know and I have so much respect for her. My father died when I was two years old, leaving my mom to raise ten (10) out of their thirteen (13) children on her own as a single mom. And yes, all thirteen of us have the same parents. If you are wondering where I fall in the crowd, I am lucky number 13! I'm the baby of family, yet I have never been the spoiled one. Seriously! LOL! My mom was 42 years old when she gave birth to me.
I also followed in my mom's footsteps to become an entrepreneur. My mom has an incredible story about her life with my father and without my father. Actually, she wrote the forward to my book, "Life As A Single Mom, It Isn't Easy, Or Is It?". You should definitely order a copy to read her story. Visit http://www.projectsinglemoms.com/shopwithpsm/onlinestore.html to order a copy.
Prior to retiring, my mom owned four (4) beauty salons and was a licensed cosmetologist for 35 years. I was raised in the back of her salon. I grew up watching my mom work hard to take care of us. She refused welfare as an option even when they tried to force her to take it. As long as my mom was abled-bodied, she didn't mind working hard. She worked long hours in her beauty salon, so I spent most of my time with my older sisters growing up. There were many similiarities between me and mom. I, too, worked long hours to grow my business and to care for my child and household.
While reflecting back on my childhood, I tried to remember times in my life when I could recall my mom telling me that she loved me or when she hugged me just because. I could not think of a time when I experienced these emotions from my mom. I do understand that my mom was focused on being the breadwinner for our family and keeping everyone out of trouble so I do not fault her in anyway. Even back in a day, it was difficult to create balance between work life and family life, especially if you were a single mom with too many kids to count.
As I discovered the emotional disconnect with my mom as a child and even as an adult, I also realized that I couldn't give my daughter what I never received simply because I didn't know how or just didn't understand the importance of showing unconditional love and affection to my daughter. It all started to make sense to me and I finally stopped feeling like a bad mother.
Recognizing the problem in my relationship with my daughter, I knew the solution would not be easy. I do believe that there is surface love which comes with an understanding that because you are related to someone or have a relationship with someone, loving them is automatic. I also believe in deep, unconditional love which requires more work than surface love. Unconditional love requires you to love on a level where a person not only knows you love them but they feel and experience your love through the emotions and affections you express when you are in their presence. I had never experienced deep, unconditional love as a child and even in my marriage so I didn't know how to give it to my daughter.
Over the past eight years, I have been learning how to love on deeper levels with my daughter, my mom, my siblings and even in my relationship with my loving man. It has not been easy. In some cases, it has felt like learning to walk all over again. My efforts have truly been worth it. The more I learned how to love deeper and unconditionally toward others, I am now receiving unconditional love in return.
God placed it on my heart to share this very personal part of my life with you because there are so many daughters feeling the way my daughter felt. Maybe they haven't asked this question but they have started acting out in other ways to get mom's attention. Moms, please do not ignore them.
As I was learning to become a more loving, affectionate mother to my daughter, I decided that I would work on creating a more loving relationship with my mom and my sisters. During conversations with my mom, I started telling her that I loved her before I ended the call. I could tell that the first few times I said I love you to her, it was a bit uncomfortable for her. I continued to say it to her and then she started telling me she loved me first before we ended our calls. Our expressions of love have become routine and our relationship has grown as a result of our ability to now show unconditional love toward one another.
Through my work with My Daughter's Keeper, Inc., I have worked with hundreds of mothers and daughters dealing with strained, unhealthy relationships. I have worked with mothers who are still dealing with hurt feelings and relationships with their mothers.
I am here to tell my mothers who are experiencing a disconnect with your adolescent daughters and even those adult moms who would like to have stronger, loving relationships with their mothers that IT IS NOT TOO LATE to learn how to love unconditionally instead of on the surface.
It does require work and time, but the end results are so worth your effort to heal and strengthen relationships with your daughters and mothers. This Mother's Day, start loving on a deeper, unconditional level and LET THE HEALING BEGIN!
Continued to be blessed and empowered!
Stephanie
Happy Sunday Essence.com Family!
I was compelled to write this post as a prelude to Mother's Day which is less than a month away. Every time I think about this question, "Mom, I know you love me, but do you like me?", it strikes a chord deep in my spirit and takes me back to that poignant moment when these words were spoken from the mouth of my then 12 year-old daughter back in 2002.
This one question changed both my life and my daughter's life forever. It was a reality check for me that perhaps I wasn't as good a mom as I thought. This question has continued to challenge me to work harder to continue to put forth effort to make sure my daughter always feels love by me. My biggest challenge has not been telling her that I love her but expressing my love through my emotions and interactions with her. This was not so easy for me and I couldn't understand eight years ago why it was so difficult for me to hug or kiss on my daughter or just cuddle with her just because. I didn't understand why the simplest expressions of love and care were not a natural part of my being and my mothering. I was truly troubled by my inability to show unconditional love to my daughter. I have always been a loving, caring person to others, so this disconnect with my own daughter was perplexing to me.
Over the past eight years, I have had to learn how to love my daughter on a deeper level. What I mean by this is that I realized that loving my child was not only attributed to how I cared for her physical needs. Yes, I thought working hard to make sure she had a roof over her head, food to eat, clean, new clothes to wear and even some of her wants fulfilled was what mothers did because they love their children. Apparently, that was not enough, which is why she posed this question to me.
I have prayed and sought answers from God to reveal to me my shortcomings as a mother and to show me how to build a stronger, more loving relationship with my daughter. I am so thankful to God for hearing and answering my prayers.
What I later realized is that it is hard to give to others what you never received. My painful exploration took me back to my childhood. It made me reflect and assess my relationship with my own mother growing up and as an adult. First, I love my mom, who is 85 years young, dearly. She is the strongest woman I know and I have so much respect for her. My father died when I was two years old, leaving my mom to raise ten (10) out of their thirteen (13) children on her own as a single mom. And yes, all thirteen of us have the same parents. If you are wondering where I fall in the crowd, I am lucky number 13! I'm the baby of family, yet I have never been the spoiled one. Seriously! LOL! My mom was 42 years old when she gave birth to me.
I also followed in my mom's footsteps to become an entrepreneur. My mom has an incredible story about her life with my father and without my father. Actually, she wrote the forward to my book, "Life As A Single Mom, It Isn't Easy, Or Is It?". You should definitely order a copy to read her story. Visit http://www.projectsinglemoms.com/shopwithpsm/onlinestore.html to order a copy.
Prior to retiring, my mom owned four (4) beauty salons and was a licensed cosmetologist for 35 years. I was raised in the back of her salon. I grew up watching my mom work hard to take care of us. She refused welfare as an option even when they tried to force her to take it. As long as my mom was abled-bodied, she didn't mind working hard. She worked long hours in her beauty salon, so I spent most of my time with my older sisters growing up. There were many similiarities between me and mom. I, too, worked long hours to grow my business and to care for my child and household.
While reflecting back on my childhood, I tried to remember times in my life when I could recall my mom telling me that she loved me or when she hugged me just because. I could not think of a time when I experienced these emotions from my mom. I do understand that my mom was focused on being the breadwinner for our family and keeping everyone out of trouble so I do not fault her in anyway. Even back in a day, it was difficult to create balance between work life and family life, especially if you were a single mom with too many kids to count.
As I discovered the emotional disconnect with my mom as a child and even as an adult, I also realized that I couldn't give my daughter what I never received simply because I didn't know how or just didn't understand the importance of showing unconditional love and affection to my daughter. It all started to make sense to me and I finally stopped feeling like a bad mother.
Recognizing the problem in my relationship with my daughter, I knew the solution would not be easy. I do believe that there is surface love which comes with an understanding that because you are related to someone or have a relationship with someone, loving them is automatic. I also believe in deep, unconditional love which requires more work than surface love. Unconditional love requires you to love on a level where a person not only knows you love them but they feel and experience your love through the emotions and affections you express when you are in their presence. I had never experienced deep, unconditional love as a child and even in my marriage so I didn't know how to give it to my daughter.
Over the past eight years, I have been learning how to love on deeper levels with my daughter, my mom, my siblings and even in my relationship with my loving man. It has not been easy. In some cases, it has felt like learning to walk all over again. My efforts have truly been worth it. The more I learned how to love deeper and unconditionally toward others, I am now receiving unconditional love in return.
God placed it on my heart to share this very personal part of my life with you because there are so many daughters feeling the way my daughter felt. Maybe they haven't asked this question but they have started acting out in other ways to get mom's attention. Moms, please do not ignore them.
As I was learning to become a more loving, affectionate mother to my daughter, I decided that I would work on creating a more loving relationship with my mom and my sisters. During conversations with my mom, I started telling her that I loved her before I ended the call. I could tell that the first few times I said I love you to her, it was a bit uncomfortable for her. I continued to say it to her and then she started telling me she loved me first before we ended our calls. Our expressions of love have become routine and our relationship has grown as a result of our ability to now show unconditional love toward one another.
Through my work with My Daughter's Keeper, Inc., I have worked with hundreds of mothers and daughters dealing with strained, unhealthy relationships. I have worked with mothers who are still dealing with hurt feelings and relationships with their mothers.
I am here to tell my mothers who are experiencing a disconnect with your adolescent daughters and even those adult moms who would like to have stronger, loving relationships with their mothers that IT IS NOT TOO LATE to learn how to love unconditionally instead of on the surface.
It does require work and time, but the end results are so worth your effort to heal and strengthen relationships with your daughters and mothers. This Mother's Day, start loving on a deeper, unconditional level and LET THE HEALING BEGIN!
Continued to be blessed and empowered!
Stephanie
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children...Forgiveness Equals Freedom
I've learned that my children can hold grudges just like I can hold grudges, a trait I rather not pass on to them. Unforgiveness is so heavy to carry and so unnecessary. So I have decided to encourage them to forgive on a continuous basis so that they are able to enjoy the freedoms of living, loving, and laughing. Love and laughter can help them live a long andprosperous life, something I pray and want for them. Why not make the things they do carry a lot lighter by teaching them that forgiving/forgiveness offers a life of FREEDOM.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's a choice. ~Delphine
Proverbs 17:9 He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends.
Matthew 18: 21, 22 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
Colossians 3: 13 - 14 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
I've learned that my children can hold grudges just like I can hold grudges, a trait I rather not pass on to them. Unforgiveness is so heavy to carry and so unnecessary. So I have decided to encourage them to forgive on a continuous basis so that they are able to enjoy the freedoms of living, loving, and laughing. Love and laughter can help them live a long andprosperous life, something I pray and want for them. Why not make the things they do carry a lot lighter by teaching them that forgiving/forgiveness offers a life of FREEDOM.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's a choice. ~Delphine
Proverbs 17:9 He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends.
Matthew 18: 21, 22 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
Colossians 3: 13 - 14 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Good Read of The Month
All her life, Zenovia has struggled with the burden of caring for her schizophrenic mother, Audrey, alone. Until one day, God seems to offer support in the form of two members of a church called the Brethren of the Sacrifice, who knock at the women's door preaching an unconventional version of the Gospel. Despite having questions, Zenovia agrees to join the church along with her mother. Soon afterward, Audrey stops taking her medication when fellow churchgoers deem her illness a demonic possession. Unable to watch her mother's mental deterioration, Zenovia flees town, only to receive a fateful phone call several years later telling her of her mother's suicide. Heartbroken, Zenovia must now make a soul-altering choice: accept "God's will," or return home to confront the demons she's worked so hard to leave behind....
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children...Some Arguments Aren't Worth Having
I hear it almost everyday in our household...two brothers arguing. And with these arguments come punishments. The best punishment yet has been going to bed early which equates to more quiet time for mommy and daddy. Well last night the older of the two asked, what about him? I told him to worry about himself and figure out what arguments are worth having. Teasing one another until someone is aggravated isn't worth an argument, taking something that doesn't belong to you isn't worth an argument, and arguing about who did what is not worth an argument. Save the words and the energy by choosing your fights wisely because some arguments aren't worth having.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine
James 1:19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
Proverbs 14:29 People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.
I hear it almost everyday in our household...two brothers arguing. And with these arguments come punishments. The best punishment yet has been going to bed early which equates to more quiet time for mommy and daddy. Well last night the older of the two asked, what about him? I told him to worry about himself and figure out what arguments are worth having. Teasing one another until someone is aggravated isn't worth an argument, taking something that doesn't belong to you isn't worth an argument, and arguing about who did what is not worth an argument. Save the words and the energy by choosing your fights wisely because some arguments aren't worth having.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine
James 1:19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
Proverbs 14:29 People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children...He's The Promise Keeper.
Numbers 23:19 reads " God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through? " Sometimes we adults are disappointed by persons who don't keep their word, people who don't keep their promises but we remind our children and ourselves that there is a promise keeper. Our heavenly Father is the Promise Keeper. Whatever He says, He will do, He will do! We as adults some times hold on to words of man more so than the words of God. Think how less disappointed we would be if we held on to His word. While there are those that keep their word lets not forget all the things that God has promised us in His word or through a word. So while teaching our children, let it be know that God is the true Promise Keeper.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's a choice.~Delphine
Numbers 23:19 reads " God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through? " Sometimes we adults are disappointed by persons who don't keep their word, people who don't keep their promises but we remind our children and ourselves that there is a promise keeper. Our heavenly Father is the Promise Keeper. Whatever He says, He will do, He will do! We as adults some times hold on to words of man more so than the words of God. Think how less disappointed we would be if we held on to His word. While there are those that keep their word lets not forget all the things that God has promised us in His word or through a word. So while teaching our children, let it be know that God is the true Promise Keeper.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's a choice.~Delphine
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Oldest African American Dies at 113
Just shy of her 114th birthday, Daisey Bailey, believed to be the oldest African American, passed away today. Bailey died of organ failure at the Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit, according to the Detroit Free Press.
Bailey was born and raised in Watertown Tennessee, where she worked on a plantation. She moved to Pontiac, Michigan in 1943 and worked as a baby-sitter and a housekeeper. She liked to garden, she enjoyed dancing and listening to the blues and her favorite dishes to cook were chicken and dressing, turnip greens and egg pies, the Free Press article reads. Although she hailed from Tennessee, she preferred bourbon over the state's signature whiskey and those who knew her say the secret to her long life was eating lots of vegetables.
Read more: http://www.essence.com/news/hot_topics_4/oldest_african_american_dies_at_113.php#ixzz0hjVvtDhH
Monday, February 22, 2010
Married Couples Need This
A movie we must have.
SYNOPSIS:
With African American marriage numbers at an all time low and African American divorce numbers at an all time high the hopes of positive, lasting, relationships look bleak until now. Executive Producers Lamar and Ronnie Tyler bring real married couples to the screen to chronicle the greatest love stories ever told. These real couples explain how their marriages had a direct impact on their lives. Featuring candid and transparent looks inside of the hardships, trials, and ultimate success stories of these amazing couples, YOU SAVED ME offers an unprecedented look inside of real relationships and what is required to sustain them.
Pre-Order http://yousavedmemovie.com/pre-order-...
Official DVD Release Date: 3/29/2010
Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com. They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVD Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage and are the proud parents of four children.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Tuesday Tidbits
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children...We All Have the Potential To Create Opportunities
While listening to a commentary on TJMS on last week, I was lead to question what opportunities have I created for my children. Many came to mind but the one that is consistent is me going to work 5 days a week. You ask how going to work create opportunities for them. Well going to work on a weekly basis provides an opportunity of pay, a pay that helps provide for them. My reporting to work at a job where I sit behind a desk that I don't own, in a company that I don't own could very well create the opportunity for my children to work behind a desk in a company that they do own. My goal is to create opportunities that in turn create a legacy of opportunity for them and theirs.
Word to the wise. Strive to create your own opportunities (especially for our families) -- we all are able too!
Be blessed and encouraged today, you have always had that choice. ~ Delphine
Proverbs 13:22 A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children,
but the sinner's wealth is laid up for the righteous.
While listening to a commentary on TJMS on last week, I was lead to question what opportunities have I created for my children. Many came to mind but the one that is consistent is me going to work 5 days a week. You ask how going to work create opportunities for them. Well going to work on a weekly basis provides an opportunity of pay, a pay that helps provide for them. My reporting to work at a job where I sit behind a desk that I don't own, in a company that I don't own could very well create the opportunity for my children to work behind a desk in a company that they do own. My goal is to create opportunities that in turn create a legacy of opportunity for them and theirs.
Word to the wise. Strive to create your own opportunities (especially for our families) -- we all are able too!
Be blessed and encouraged today, you have always had that choice. ~ Delphine
Proverbs 13:22 A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children,
but the sinner's wealth is laid up for the righteous.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms So They Could Teach Their Children....To Consider Others
Having and showing some compassion towards others can take them a long!
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's always been a choice. ~ Delphine
Matthew 9:36 But when He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary[a] and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd.
1 Peter 3:8 Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous
Luke 10:33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was. And when he saw him, he had compassion.
Having and showing some compassion towards others can take them a long!
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's always been a choice. ~ Delphine
Matthew 9:36 But when He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary[a] and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd.
1 Peter 3:8 Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous
Luke 10:33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was. And when he saw him, he had compassion.
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