Friday, February 25, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children….How To Listen
“Make time for the quiet moments for God whispers, while the world is loud.”, reads the sign in my bedroom bathroom. Seeing this quote every day has made me evaluate how well do I listen to and for God’s voice. Do I hear him? How well do I listen to those around me? Do I really listen? I do know that sometimes we are so busy thinking and speaking that we don’t listen. Thinking back, we all have learned to speak because at one time we listened. Listening allowed us to form words when we were toddlers just learning to speak. Listening also allows us to appreciate and learn other languages. When we really ponder listening, learning to listen is a greater gift than speaking at times. Listening allows us to learn so much more. Listening will sometimes answer the very questions we want to ask. We gain wisdom by listening. Part of discipline is listening, but listening also takes discipline. So let us take some time to work on your listening skills by talking less. Being in a quiet place will gain us access to His still and quiet voice.
Be blessed and encouraged, it’s a choice. ~ Delphine
James 1:19 - let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak
Proverbs 18:13 - He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.
Proverb 29:20 - Do you see a man hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.
Psalms 46:10 - Be still, and know that I am God.
“Make time for the quiet moments for God whispers, while the world is loud.”, reads the sign in my bedroom bathroom. Seeing this quote every day has made me evaluate how well do I listen to and for God’s voice. Do I hear him? How well do I listen to those around me? Do I really listen? I do know that sometimes we are so busy thinking and speaking that we don’t listen. Thinking back, we all have learned to speak because at one time we listened. Listening allowed us to form words when we were toddlers just learning to speak. Listening also allows us to appreciate and learn other languages. When we really ponder listening, learning to listen is a greater gift than speaking at times. Listening allows us to learn so much more. Listening will sometimes answer the very questions we want to ask. We gain wisdom by listening. Part of discipline is listening, but listening also takes discipline. So let us take some time to work on your listening skills by talking less. Being in a quiet place will gain us access to His still and quiet voice.
Be blessed and encouraged, it’s a choice. ~ Delphine
James 1:19 - let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak
Proverbs 18:13 - He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.
Proverb 29:20 - Do you see a man hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.
Psalms 46:10 - Be still, and know that I am God.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Good Parenting Article from Focus On the Family
Even if you don’t follow pop culture, you’ve inevitably read or heard of the teen actress Miley Cyrus. Playing the wholesome character “Hannah Montana” on her popular Disney television show of the same name several years ago, Miss Cyrus was catapulted into entertainment’s stratosphere. She quickly became a marketer’s dream and was earning millions of dollars in TV, music and feature films. In the midst of her rapid ascent, though, she also found herself wrapped up in controversy, from being caught posing for provocative photographs to smoking a bong and taking hallucinogenic drugs.
Just another child actress given too much too soon?
Miss Cyrus, now 18, is the daughter of country singer Billy Ray Cyrus, perhaps best known for his hit, “Achy Breaky Heart.”
Ironically, and sadly, that’s exactly what Billy Ray is suffering from these days. He told GQ Magazine that he now wishes his daughter never went to Hollywood and found fame and fortune.
"The [expletive] show destroyed my family," he told the reporter. "I'd take it back in a second. For my family to be here and just everybody be okay, safe and sound and happy and normal would have been fantastic. Heck, yeah. I'd erase it all in a second if I could."
Billy Ray and his wife, Miley’s mother, Tish, filed for divorce this past fall.
As you would expect, back in 1992 when Miley was born, neither Tish nor Billy Ray thought things would take such a sad turn. In fact, when their daughter was born they named her “Destiny Hope” because they were so confident in the brightness of her future. Those early years were, indeed, happy. As a little baby they nicknamed her “Smiley” – later shorted to Miley – because she always had such a wide and carefree grin.
But those days are long gone, and her father is not only grieving their passage but regretting his actions (or lack thereof) as a father. Again, from the GQ interview:
"How many interviews did I give and say, 'You know what's important between me and Miley is I try to be a friend to my kids'? I said it a lot. And sometimes I would even read other parents might say, 'You don't need to be a friend, you need to be a parent.' Well, I'm the first guy to say to them right now: You were right. I should have been a better parent. I should have said, 'Enough is enough--it's getting dangerous and somebody's going to get hurt.' I should have, but I didn't. Honestly, I didn't know the ball was out of bounds until it was way up in the stands somewhere."
Very few parents are faced with the challenge of parenting a teen idol, a tough assignment to be sure. But what about the rest of us? Although we might not be trying to navigate stardom, we do have to navigate and manage human nature. Mark my words. Our kids will inevitably push the envelope and test the waters. It’s normal and natural to do so. Subconsciously many of us are wondering just how far we’ll allow them to go. Despite what they might say or how they might act, they want leadership.
Now a reality check. We all like to be liked. If it’s human nature for a kid to push, it’s human nature for a mom or dad to want to be favorably viewed by our kids. But here is the big question: Do we want to be their best pal – or their parent who often has to hold firm and say “no” when they desperately want us to say “yes”?
Here is your charge. Here is your challenge. Your kids have plenty of friends, maybe too many. But only two people in the world can really be their parents. Step up. Be parents today and the friendship with your children - a real friendship - will grow into adulthood and likely last throughout your lives.
Just another child actress given too much too soon?
Miss Cyrus, now 18, is the daughter of country singer Billy Ray Cyrus, perhaps best known for his hit, “Achy Breaky Heart.”
Ironically, and sadly, that’s exactly what Billy Ray is suffering from these days. He told GQ Magazine that he now wishes his daughter never went to Hollywood and found fame and fortune.
"The [expletive] show destroyed my family," he told the reporter. "I'd take it back in a second. For my family to be here and just everybody be okay, safe and sound and happy and normal would have been fantastic. Heck, yeah. I'd erase it all in a second if I could."
Billy Ray and his wife, Miley’s mother, Tish, filed for divorce this past fall.
As you would expect, back in 1992 when Miley was born, neither Tish nor Billy Ray thought things would take such a sad turn. In fact, when their daughter was born they named her “Destiny Hope” because they were so confident in the brightness of her future. Those early years were, indeed, happy. As a little baby they nicknamed her “Smiley” – later shorted to Miley – because she always had such a wide and carefree grin.
But those days are long gone, and her father is not only grieving their passage but regretting his actions (or lack thereof) as a father. Again, from the GQ interview:
"How many interviews did I give and say, 'You know what's important between me and Miley is I try to be a friend to my kids'? I said it a lot. And sometimes I would even read other parents might say, 'You don't need to be a friend, you need to be a parent.' Well, I'm the first guy to say to them right now: You were right. I should have been a better parent. I should have said, 'Enough is enough--it's getting dangerous and somebody's going to get hurt.' I should have, but I didn't. Honestly, I didn't know the ball was out of bounds until it was way up in the stands somewhere."
Very few parents are faced with the challenge of parenting a teen idol, a tough assignment to be sure. But what about the rest of us? Although we might not be trying to navigate stardom, we do have to navigate and manage human nature. Mark my words. Our kids will inevitably push the envelope and test the waters. It’s normal and natural to do so. Subconsciously many of us are wondering just how far we’ll allow them to go. Despite what they might say or how they might act, they want leadership.
Now a reality check. We all like to be liked. If it’s human nature for a kid to push, it’s human nature for a mom or dad to want to be favorably viewed by our kids. But here is the big question: Do we want to be their best pal – or their parent who often has to hold firm and say “no” when they desperately want us to say “yes”?
Here is your charge. Here is your challenge. Your kids have plenty of friends, maybe too many. But only two people in the world can really be their parents. Step up. Be parents today and the friendship with your children - a real friendship - will grow into adulthood and likely last throughout your lives.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children…Salvation is Free.
Part of being a parent is in guiding our children. We should be living and leading by example. We should be teaching and nurturing the souls God has entrusted to our care. We should be ushering our children into His presence. We should not leave this to the strangers we listen to in church. We should be the ones leading them to His saving grace and teaching them that salvation is free. We should be on our jobs as parents. They grown before you know it. You want what you have planted to grow even if what you planted endures a drought. Salvation is free because Christ Jesus paid the price. Now lets plant the seeds of salavation in the fertile souls of our children.
Be Blessed and encouraged today, it’s a choice.~Delphine
“… if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes to righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made to salvation.” (Romans 10:9)
“In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace …” (Ephesians 1:7)
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)
Part of being a parent is in guiding our children. We should be living and leading by example. We should be teaching and nurturing the souls God has entrusted to our care. We should be ushering our children into His presence. We should not leave this to the strangers we listen to in church. We should be the ones leading them to His saving grace and teaching them that salvation is free. We should be on our jobs as parents. They grown before you know it. You want what you have planted to grow even if what you planted endures a drought. Salvation is free because Christ Jesus paid the price. Now lets plant the seeds of salavation in the fertile souls of our children.
Be Blessed and encouraged today, it’s a choice.~Delphine
“… if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes to righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made to salvation.” (Romans 10:9)
“In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace …” (Ephesians 1:7)
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)
Friday, February 11, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Good Read Of The Month
Only 34 percent of African-American children today are raised in two- parent households, a sharp contrast to 1966, when 85 percent of black children were raised by two parents. In provocative but heartfelt words, Hill Harper takes on these urgent challenges, bringing a variety of issues out of the shadows. In The Conversation, Harper speaks to women and men with clear-eyed perspective, covering topics such as:
•The roots of the breakdown in the black family
•The myth that there are no mature, single, black male professionals
•What women can do to alleviate the "heaviness" they sometimes attach to dating
•What men can do to break the cycle of being a player
•The difference between sex and intimacy
•Bridging the communication gap
•Self-worth and net worth, and why you should never settle for an unworthy partner
Capturing the conversations Harper and his friends frequently have, this book is destined to be one of Harper's most healing contributions.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children...1 John 1:7
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's a choice. ~Delphine
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it's a choice. ~Delphine
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Thought Provoking Article from Essence.com
Sound-Off: Black Mothers Can Learn from 'Tiger Mom' written by Kimberly Seals Allers
There's been a lot of controversy recently regarding the release of Amy Chua's latest book, "The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom."
In it, this Chinese-American mother of two and Yale professor-turned-confessional author pans Western parenting ideals and touts the benefits of tough Chinese parenting: no sleepovers, no playdates, and no after-school activities, except practicing the violin and piano for hours. Sounds like my great, great grandma.
Ever since publishing her damned-the-nurturing-Western parenting tome, Chua has appeared on pretty much every national television show, become a virtual piñata for every parenting website and blog, and has even received death threats for her views.
I mean, really now.
Chua does rightly deserve a little heat for proudly calling her kids "lazy," "pathetic," "cowardly," "barbarians" -- even "garbage" -- when they fail to measure up to her expectations. She considers an A- a bad grade. But I think much of the backlash behind Tiger Mom is simply the American arrogance of anyone saying the American way of parenting is not best.
And really, is it? The bumper crop of self-indulgent, overly entitled, Facebook and text-all-day American kids, could mean Chua is onto something. And there is likely an even more important takeaway for Black parents.
Truth be told, I don't think most Black parents feel white America has it all right when it comes to parenting anyway. Their track record leaves much to be desired. And admittedly so does ours. The Black achievement gap still looms large. The number of young Black males in prison speaks volumes. The stats about the amount of hours Black children spend in front of a television versus Whites and Asians is embarrassing. And if you don't want to delve into historical statistics for a litmus test on the quality of Black parenting, consider that last week some Oakland second-graders were reportedly involved in taking off their clothes and performing oral sex in a classroom. Enough said.
At the end of the day, Chua makes a valid point worth noting. Perhaps we've lost our way as African-Americans because we've strayed or even assimilated into the American way of thinking -- something Chua refuses to do. We've drifted from the hardworking ethic of our forefathers that made us value education and push for academic excellence in recognition of the days we were denied it. We got caught up in the quest for giving "things" to our children and forgot about the time when our parents had nothing to give but themselves. They gave us their time and their presence. They were firm, yet loving. They expected success and not to shame the family. And perhaps things were better then.
Perhaps things were better when the neighbors helped looked after everybody, when my children were your children, and every child knew that any adult on the block had spanking privileges. And we saw our individual successes as our collective success. Those were our values. And we instilled them in our children, without apology.
Where are those values now?
I often feel like a dinosaur because my children aren't allowed to watch TV on school nights, there is no PlayStation nor any handheld gaming systems in our home, and books outnumber toys in my children's rooms. They felt mistreated, my children told me recently, as one of a few kids who didn't return from Christmas break with a new iPad, iPod or ianything. Or maybe it was because of those book reports they had to prepare while on school break.
Either way, while I do not agree with all of Chua's means (In one instance, she hauls her then-7-year-old daughter's dollhouse out to the car and tells the kid that the dollhouse is going to be donated to the Salvation Army piece by piece if the daughter doesn't master a difficult piano composition by the next day?), I can certainly respect her intended end: raising high achievers. No excuses.
Girlfriend has a plan and she's not afraid to work it. She sees her children as strong and able to handle tough love, not weak and in need of coddling. You gotta respect her commitment. Her firmness. Her, I-don't-care-what-you-think-of-me--ness.
Maybe we all could use a little tiger in our parenting tool kit.
There's been a lot of controversy recently regarding the release of Amy Chua's latest book, "The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom."
In it, this Chinese-American mother of two and Yale professor-turned-confessional author pans Western parenting ideals and touts the benefits of tough Chinese parenting: no sleepovers, no playdates, and no after-school activities, except practicing the violin and piano for hours. Sounds like my great, great grandma.
Ever since publishing her damned-the-nurturing-Western parenting tome, Chua has appeared on pretty much every national television show, become a virtual piñata for every parenting website and blog, and has even received death threats for her views.
I mean, really now.
Chua does rightly deserve a little heat for proudly calling her kids "lazy," "pathetic," "cowardly," "barbarians" -- even "garbage" -- when they fail to measure up to her expectations. She considers an A- a bad grade. But I think much of the backlash behind Tiger Mom is simply the American arrogance of anyone saying the American way of parenting is not best.
And really, is it? The bumper crop of self-indulgent, overly entitled, Facebook and text-all-day American kids, could mean Chua is onto something. And there is likely an even more important takeaway for Black parents.
Truth be told, I don't think most Black parents feel white America has it all right when it comes to parenting anyway. Their track record leaves much to be desired. And admittedly so does ours. The Black achievement gap still looms large. The number of young Black males in prison speaks volumes. The stats about the amount of hours Black children spend in front of a television versus Whites and Asians is embarrassing. And if you don't want to delve into historical statistics for a litmus test on the quality of Black parenting, consider that last week some Oakland second-graders were reportedly involved in taking off their clothes and performing oral sex in a classroom. Enough said.
At the end of the day, Chua makes a valid point worth noting. Perhaps we've lost our way as African-Americans because we've strayed or even assimilated into the American way of thinking -- something Chua refuses to do. We've drifted from the hardworking ethic of our forefathers that made us value education and push for academic excellence in recognition of the days we were denied it. We got caught up in the quest for giving "things" to our children and forgot about the time when our parents had nothing to give but themselves. They gave us their time and their presence. They were firm, yet loving. They expected success and not to shame the family. And perhaps things were better then.
Perhaps things were better when the neighbors helped looked after everybody, when my children were your children, and every child knew that any adult on the block had spanking privileges. And we saw our individual successes as our collective success. Those were our values. And we instilled them in our children, without apology.
Where are those values now?
I often feel like a dinosaur because my children aren't allowed to watch TV on school nights, there is no PlayStation nor any handheld gaming systems in our home, and books outnumber toys in my children's rooms. They felt mistreated, my children told me recently, as one of a few kids who didn't return from Christmas break with a new iPad, iPod or ianything. Or maybe it was because of those book reports they had to prepare while on school break.
Either way, while I do not agree with all of Chua's means (In one instance, she hauls her then-7-year-old daughter's dollhouse out to the car and tells the kid that the dollhouse is going to be donated to the Salvation Army piece by piece if the daughter doesn't master a difficult piano composition by the next day?), I can certainly respect her intended end: raising high achievers. No excuses.
Girlfriend has a plan and she's not afraid to work it. She sees her children as strong and able to handle tough love, not weak and in need of coddling. You gotta respect her commitment. Her firmness. Her, I-don't-care-what-you-think-of-me--ness.
Maybe we all could use a little tiger in our parenting tool kit.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Tuesday Tidbit
God Made Moms To Teach Their Children…What Democracy Means
On last night, I had the pleasure of viewing with my two younger children the documentary “Please Vote for Me”. The 56 min. film was very insightful and quite thought provoking for people of all ages and cultures. In short, the documentary follows the elections for class monitor in a 3rd grade class of eight year old children in China. The three candidates, compete against each other for the coveted role and are egged on by their teachers and doting parents. It’s supposedly to be the first election of its type for a class monitor held in a school in China, as well as an interesting use of classic democratic voting principles and interpersonal dynamics. It also gives a glimpse into China's contemporary urban middle classes.
My tidbit for today is to use this film as a tool to explain democracy along with the choices of free will. I can assure you, you and your family will enjoy it and be surprised at how wise today’s children really are.
Attached is a trailer I found of the film.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it’s a choice. ~Delphine
On last night, I had the pleasure of viewing with my two younger children the documentary “Please Vote for Me”. The 56 min. film was very insightful and quite thought provoking for people of all ages and cultures. In short, the documentary follows the elections for class monitor in a 3rd grade class of eight year old children in China. The three candidates, compete against each other for the coveted role and are egged on by their teachers and doting parents. It’s supposedly to be the first election of its type for a class monitor held in a school in China, as well as an interesting use of classic democratic voting principles and interpersonal dynamics. It also gives a glimpse into China's contemporary urban middle classes.
My tidbit for today is to use this film as a tool to explain democracy along with the choices of free will. I can assure you, you and your family will enjoy it and be surprised at how wise today’s children really are.
Attached is a trailer I found of the film.
Be blessed and encouraged today, it’s a choice. ~Delphine
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