Tuesday Tidbit

God Made Moms To Teach Their Children...A Mother's Love

A wise woman shared with me several years ago that what I do for my children should not be for them to love me but because I love them. What a seed she planted in my life as well as my children's lives and all children close to me. This particularly wise woman doesn't have any children of her own but she has nurtured her nieces and nephews and grand nieces and nephews with this type of love. A mother's love. When you think about God's discipline and His correcting that's just how he does it. He's responding out of His love for us not for Him to receive our love even though I'm sure He desires that from His children. When we make our children eat the vegetables they don't like it's because we love them and know it's one of the requirements for them to grow strong and healthy. When we set a scheduled time for bed, it's not just because we want some down time, it's because we know they need their rest to be productive in school the next day. When we tell them "no" because we know it's for their own good, that's a mother responding out of love for her child. I've had one of my very lovable children say to me on several occasions that they hate having me as their mother because I always tell them "no" and I've always responded I love you more. That same response as gotten me an apology and hugs later. Acting of love is always best. Just a couple of weekends ago I spent a day with two of my active nephews who probably think I'm the worst auntie ever because I try and hold them accountable for their actions. Well after a morning of being disobedient to what I had requested of them, I finally told them their disobedience had cost them the privilege of being treated to something special that day. I explained to them that obedience is always better than sacrifice. Towards the end of our day together, I told them I discipline them not because I'm mean and impatient but because I love them and want only the best for them. I do it because I love them and not for them to love me because in the end, I know they will love me even more for being the one who loved them enough to say "stop it" or even strong enough to tell them "no". A mother's love goes a long way when she's doing it out of love and not just for the temporal sake of love from the ones she's loving.

Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine

Hebrews 12:7-11 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Proverbs 13:24 He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

Titus 2:4 Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

Thought Provoking Article

Very interesting article I found over at Essence.com. I would be remiss if I didn't pass it on. Read it and share it. It could possibly be describing your life or the life of one of your sisters or friends. Makes us ponder why some of us live our lives the way we do.

Balancing Act: I'm Too Overwhelmed to Find My Passion
by Anonymous, as told to S. Tia Brown

The Cosbys don't have jack on my family. I'm young, Black and very middle class. Plus, I have the three B's -- babies, bling (on the ring finger) and body (yep, still rocking a size 8). I've been happily married for almost a decade. I have the lovely house I've always imagined. I have a supportive church home. I have wonderful girlfriends. When I think about how much God has blessed me, I am truly overjoyed. But, when I think about managing it all one word comes to mind: overwhelmed.

Yes, I've attained all of my goals and desires, but I missed one major thing on the journey: figuring out me. I'm 32 years old and I have a dirty little secret -- I never took the time to determine what would truly make me happy. As ridiculous as it may sound, it is absolutely true. I went to college because society says successful people are educated. I got my Bachelor's degree in Business because it's an evergreen field. I got married because I loved my boyfriend and we'd dated for years. I had kids because I was a wife and my clock was ticking. I got a Master's degree in Management Information Systems because my job -- which I already knew I hated -- paid for it. Do you get my drift?

I epitomize that good 'ole saying, "Do the right thing." But what happens when Mrs. Perfect is ready to do what's considered wrong? At night I lay awake in my bed and fantasize -- in between late-night baby feedings, the now occasional bump 'n grind with my hubby and creating a mental to-do list for the next day -- what my life could be like if I pursued my passion... that is, if I knew what it was. I do know that it's not toiling my life away and crunching numbers for a corporation.

In three years I'll be 35-years-old and I am scared. The little girl in me is smiling; you know the happy, infectious, toothy-grin that is only derived from sincere joy. I love my kids and my husband -- I have to include that caveat before I get to this part. But she is, or was, naive. Sometimes, most times, no, a lot of the times... it's all too much. The fairy tales and sitcoms never tell you that you don't get commercial breaks in real life. I'm always on. Whether I'm in the office, in my living room, or in my bedroom, everyone wants, needs, asks for a piece of me. All I want is a little peace. I need time to think, no better yet, feel.

This year I realized I've spent my whole life analyzing what I should be doing but never invested much time is figuring what I am meant to do. When I said I have one secret, I lied. Here's the other: I am equal parts fearless and chicken-hearted. Maybe emotionally paralyzed is better? I can't imagine asking my husband to let me take off time from work, or even quit -- though we could likely more than afford it -- to "find me." Isn't that for White rich kids? Furthermore, I have no idea what I'm meant to do. I just know I love helping people. I've pondered it all: working for a non-profit organization, event planning, even couples counseling.

Today I'm trying to balance finding the time to learn my true purpose while existing in an ideal that's no longer mine. I want to let go of preconceived notions of success (the picture of happiness and wealth) and redefine them on my terms. Moreover, I want to carve out the time to put my other titles aside -- mommy, wife and employee -- and focus the most important one, "me." I just wish I knew where to begin.

Finding your life's purpose isn't easy -- especially when you have other responsibilities. Tell us where you are on that journey.

Books of Brown Kids written Derrick Barnes

This Is Why I Like Monica

Tuesday Tidbit

God Made Moms To Teach Their Children....The Importance of Expressing Your Feelings.

It's importance to encourage our young children, old children, husbands, boyfriends, family members, friends, and coworkers to express what their really feeling. There is always an appropriate time and place for that expressing but the need is always there - that's called creating a balance for the one expressing the feelings and for the one hearing it. We should not leave room for assumptions because most likely "the assumption", your assumption is wrong. We live and function in a society where we behave as robots/robotics and then when we do see those expressions of true feelings we see "transformers". To keep it short, men and women miss out on love and being loved...they didn't express their true feelings. Men and women get abused,used, and neglected...they didn't express their true feelings. Children have suffered abuse and neglect...they couldn't express true feelings. We miss out on promotions and opportunities...we don't express our true feelings.

If you love him or her...express it.
If you don't like it....express it.
If your angry...express it.
If your sad...express it.
If you don't trust or believe what's being said....express it.
If you want or need to leave...express it.
If you want it...express it.
If you don't know what or how to feel...still express it.

Be honest with yourself first by letting others know what you're really feeling, you'll be surprised by the response you receive. I am 41 years old and I'm still learning to express myself. Think about if I were taught as a child to express myself :).

Be Blessed and Encouraged today,it's your choice. ~ Delphine

Investing and Saving Sense

Some Afternoon Humor

Two Little Boys.

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew all about it.
If any mischief occurred in their town, the two boys were probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, 'Do you know where God is, son?'The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, 'Where is God?' Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, 'Where is God?' The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, 'What happened?'
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, 'We are in BIG trouble this time,'

(I just LOVE reading this next line again and again :)

'GOD is missing, and they think we did it!

Tuesday Tidbit

God Made Moms To Teach Their Children...Every Person or Household Is Not The Same.

Ladies, having three kids that range in the ages of 7 to 22 years, I've gone through years of hearing that "such and such can", "such and such has this or that", "that's not fair", "why can't I" and on,on. Anyway maybe if kids are taught early that every person/household is not the same we would not have as many kids or adults, pardon my use of the cliche'- "trying to keep up with the Jones(s)". I got to tell you I was one of those kids and I definitely turned into one of those adults.(Being honest with self is therapeutic) Learning early on that every person/household is different, would make understanding that every mom, dad, husband, wife, sister, brother, teacher, salary, house, job, car, boss, bank account and so on is not going to be exactly like yours. Break the trendy cycle of keeping up with the Jones(s) by sharing with your kids today that every person/household is unique,not every person or household is the same nor are they required to be the same. What works for you or your household my not work for your friend's or neighbor's household. We all have seen, read, or heard the saying, " that there will always be someone smarter, someone that looks better, cooks better, cleans better, speaks better, writes better, has the husband that does more around the house or with the kids, makes more money, lives in the bigger house, drives the nicer car, kids do better in school or even behave better", it may all be true or it could just be your perception. Just do you! Just be you! Just do your best in being and enjoying who and what God created and blessed you to be.

Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Philippians 4:6-9 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Good Read of The Month

The first rule is, always live well below your means. The last rule is, choose your occupation wisely. You'll have to buy the book to find out the other five. It's only fair. The authors' conclusions are commonsensical. But, as they point out, their prescription often flies in the face of what we think wealthy people should do. There are no pop stars or athletes in this book, but plenty of wall-board manufacturers--particularly ones who take cheap, infrequent vacations! Stanley and Danko mercilessly show how wealth takes sacrifice, discipline, and hard work, qualities that are positively discouraged by our high-consumption society. "You aren't what you drive," admonish the authors. Somewhere, Benjamin Franklin is smiling. --

Tuesday Tidbit

God Made Moms To Teach Their Child...Matthew 7:12

Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.


Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~Delphine