Tuesday Tidbit

God Made Moms To Teach Children...HIS Definition of Love

Since Chris Brown and Rhinanna's domestic dispute/battle last month everyone is addressing domestic abuse. I decided to jump on the bandwagon as well. To start, I am not going to criticize Chris or Rhianna for the choices they have made because they both are really young and they both have witnessed abuse involving their parents. But I will say love starts within. And until you are able to love yourself, you can not give love to someone else. I know many of us suffer in relationships because we grew up witnessing parents, family members, neighbors or friends being abused in relationships. I'm not saying we should excuse abuse because it's always been around us but because we have continued to function in abuse, this dysfunction has become the norm for many of us. So the cycle of abuse continues. I am a byproduct of an abusive marriage. I witnessed my dad abuse my mother for years. In my late teens and very early twenties, I too was involved in abusive relationships. You would think witnessing abuse for so long, I would have recognized the signs or the tendencies of an abusive person right away. But not all cases of abuse are that cut and dry. Emotional abuse is just as harmful or more harmful, the abuser plays on the emotions. The abuser has a way of making the victim feel like they are the abuser, one of the worst forms of manipulation and abuse there is. I learned early in my marriage that I had the desire to manipulate my husband. I would want to curse or fuss at my husband if things didn't quite go my way. Well thank God for grace and mercy because Olajide wasn't having it. He didn't even remotely entertain my need to manipulate or my desire to abuse him in any fashion. He shut it down by basically saying, if that's what you want out of a man, I ain't him. Ladies, I share this to say that abuse works both ways. And I am not saying by any means that Rhianna asked for or deserved any form of abuse because neither does Chris. I was not there, I don't know what transpired between these two. I do know that women who have experienced abuse have the tendency to be abusive as well. We don't necessarily have to have the physical strength that a man has. We abuse with our mouths. These jabs don't necessarily fade away either, they can leave painful marks just like physical abuse can. So in my addressing of domestic abuse let's check ourselves and let us teach our children that love isn't suppose to hurt them or any one else. Love does not cause you to want to punch some one out, anger does. Love builds up a person, not tear them down. Let's teach our children the Bible's definition of love. Teach them that by holding themselves accountable to God's ordained definition of love they should rarely feel the need to hurt those they claim to love.

One of my goals as a parent is to break some of the generational curses that I know to exist in my family. And based on those goals, I've decided to live and teach my children by example, in hopes of leaving a better legacy for those who follow.

Be blessed and encouraged today, it's your choice. ~ Delphine

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Numbers 14:18 The LORD is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation.'

Psalm 37:8 Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper— it only leads to harm.